::::::::::' The Other Guys' (2010) dir: Adam Kay

 

                                               This film made me cry, on more than one occasion.


At the beginning of this film I thought that I was watching the wrong film as that prick the Rock and Samuel L. Jackson were in a car chase. Seriously I actually did. I had to imdb it first and by the time the page had loaded my answer was given. Walberg and Ferrel play the other cops in the this fictional New York, there are rockstar celbrity cops then there are the other guys who dont do much; Ferrel enjoys doing paper work for other people and Walberg has an unstable personality after he shot a sports star. Sadly Jackson and the Rock die ( this part imp articular actually made me cry with laughter. My face cheeks hurt as I was laughing so damned much!)  This is when the other guys take on a case that involves finacial stuff that frankley i did not really understand something about the selling of stuff and I dont know really but it was bad, and someone did stuff wrong and pissed of many investors.

I would advise anyone with eyes to watch this film possibly with working eyes, failing that if you have ears give it a shot. It is fucking funny. Somehow Will Ferrel can manage to make anything funny. As much as I am used to his type of character that he enjoys playing it always almost unbarably funny at points. Look out for the part in the film about his job whilst at college. I think if you miss out on this film that your doing your self an injustice. Will Ferrel is a living Comedy genius and Marky Mark is okay .. but Ferrel stole this as per usual.


:::The Other Guys Trailer:::::

'Bunny and the Bull' (2009) dir: Paul King

 Possibly one of the most innovative and unique films that I have seen in a long, long time.


This little independent British film is about a man who has not left his house named Stephen (played by Edward Hogg) he sits at home watching wildlife survival shows on video and eating the same food at the same time each day all by him self. Until one day this very precise schedule is interrupted by mice eating his microwave meal. It causes him to re-live a heck tick and, in the end, disastrous jaunt in to Europe with his gambling and girl addicted friend Bunny ( played by Simon Farnaby).

When this film was re-leased for the very very short amount of time that it actually was I feel that they played much too much time with emphasizing that the duo from 'The Mighty Boosh' are in the film, they are but hardly. They are in it for only a few minutes. With hindsight I would say that the more interesting and artistically relevant influence in this film is Paul King who also directed 'The Mighty Boosh' and wrote the script for this film. This film is touched by ridiculously perfect , cute and amusing animation. The backgrounds for the most part are all animated, from the scenery in shops to the cars and roads. The animation is familiar to that of 'The Mighty Boosh' in that it does seem simple almost like a money saving addition but the film seems better of for it. I would compare it more to a 'Gondry- esk ( director of eternal sunshine) style of using animation but also special effects. The moments when Stephen is in his house by him self and is imaginig large amounts of things going on around him and people popping up out of odd places is pretty amazing and is hard to work out at first.


All together this is a very unique and special film. I think it is a tradigy that it was not in the cinemas for longer. I would have greatly enjoyed seeing it on a large screen and would have rather have paid to see this than some of the rubbish that is on at the moment, deffiantly worth supporting indepentant British film buy purchasing a copy of the dvd.


:::::Bunny and the Bull:::::

' The Dissapearance of Alice Creed' Dir: J Blakeson (2009)

I get to see my friends wife nude, sweet.

It is a very awkward scene but Gemma Arterton is naked in this film. Not in an erotic way at all. The plot to this film is rather short, simple and easy to explain. To characters kidnap the daughter of a rich businessmen. Thing's naturally get more complicated though, as they would obviously have to too actually as there would probably not be that much of a film in the end if it did n't. There are a lot of twists in this film, some more obvious that others, I counted about five.


Stupidly I watched this film while I was in a bad mood, in a fragile state and just generally not 100%. This did not help my mood. The general feel of the film is rather morbid and eerie.  The cast is only of 3 and the music is a  repetitive  violin piece which didn't actually put me on edge, it just really annoyed me.

Eddie Marsan gave an amazing performance as one of the kidnappers, he has scared me since 'Happy Go Lucky' and managed it again in this film. I think I would probably leave a pub or bar if I saw him there, I just cant actually imagine him being anything more than a emotionally imbalance psycho. One that you never actually know where the hell you stand with him.

Gemma Arterton is also rather good in this film too, this is the first time that she has been in a film where she can flex her acting muscles and does rather well,  crying alot. We all love women crying don't we ! But I think she and the other guy, Martin Compston, are both dominated by Marsan who is truly terrifying.


This is obviously a character piece, one in that the characters are all played rather well and you do start to find them to be partially believable. The plot is sweet and short and punchy yet I did feel there was a real lack of 'umph' and real gusto behind it all so as to make me actually care about the outcome from the film. It all seemed to happen, yes I was scared of Marsan and the music made me feel nauseous but that was it really.


:::THE DISSAPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED TRAILER:::

Scenes that blew me away..

 'The Sea Inside' (2003) "Flying Dream Scene"

WATCH


This gave me goose bumps, actually it still does. At first I was confused and thought that he was faking the whole leg thing all along and then he suddenly fly's out of the window. Beautiful cinematography combined with the ridiculously well chosen song make it. The fact the song kicks in to a surround sound of not just being the speaker but actually being all around you once Bardem's character is out of the window is immense. Plus the richness of the greens and the yellows of the outside contrasting with the mellow tones of the inside is awe inspiring. Obviously we are flying too which is always unusual. And then we arrive on the beach which is calm, the music calms. And were hit with the peaceful yellowish tones from the sand and the sun and the ladies hair.   Pretty perfect.

 'Badlands' (1973) " Kit and Holly going to hide in the Woods"

WATCH


Kit and Holly finally go and hide in the woods in this scene. This scene is another one made perfectly by the music and by the shots, also the narration is rather amazing. You do also see the characters gradually go slightly mad in it, down to Kit running around the woods with a gun in his hand. And them dancing all beautifully narrated absent mindedly by Holly. nice.

' Leon' (1994) " Final Swat Scene"

WATCH

This is the penultimate scene from 'Leon' it is pretty much what the hole of the film has been building up to. A lot of Swat men have gathered outside Leon's flat, with the knowledge that he is there. He knows that they are there and that they have Matlida the girl that he has been looking after. The violence is perfect in this scene, it is not over the top or ridiculous. At the beginning you simply feel as if there is no way that Leon is going to win this or get out alive.



 'Amelie' (2001) "Blind Man Scene"

WATCH

This scene occurs just as Amelie has decided to help others as much as possible. Walking down the road she see's a blind man and decides to help him across and down the road but also to describe as much of what is going on as possible. And she does it beautifully.




- I will do another one of these soon or add to this one soon, I promise.

'Kenny' Dir: Clayton Jacobson (2006)

Before we watched this we were not sure if the guy introducing it said it was a documentary or that it was not a documentary. In a way that was perfect.


This is a mockumentry or fake documentry ( think 'The Office' or ' This is Spinal Tap') which focuses around a man called Kenny (I had to write it, that is just how reviews work ! ). Kenny works for a company that supply portable toilets to events such as festivals and corporate events. He really loves his jobs and takes it extremely seriously. One of the first extremely funny points are when taking a quote he mentions that if the event has alcohol or curry being served then the price of the toilets will be higher. I like to never really comedy as a genre, ever. This is a mockumentry. Kenny has a child who is a rather cute and has a divorced wife. A father who doesn't seem to love him all that much and keeps asking him to look for a proper job.  Kenny then gets the opportunity to go to America 'shit conference' ( I would call it something else but find that a little too funny). Oh yeah the film is set in Australia, I should have shoved that in somewhere else but forgot. Kenny goes this is where the film really lifts off and becomes something more than just a guy going about his business ( sorry!).


All in all I found this film was rather sweet to be honest. I did'nt expect anything seeing as I had'nt actually heard of it before and naturally this caused me to sink further in to it as it got funnier and more layered. I really really enjoy the mockumentry genre as a genre as you constantly have the thought of "wow, is this real" even though it doesnt actually seem in the slightly possible way real, as it is within the well known and played out set out of the documentry film (i.e hand held cameras, lack of lighting, non progressive dialouge ect. ) it can seem 'real'. Another part of this film that I found extremely amusing was the non stop toilet humor. I don't care who you are or how old you are, but use of the word "pooh" and "crap" and the constant mention of the process of emptying your bowels is always really funny. If you dissagree with this please get of off your high horse you pretentious twat.
I mainly started really enjoying the film when 'Kenny' had his love interest come in, that combined with his son being there was lovely. I mean he is clearly bit of  simple guy, but he loves his son and isn't ashamed of his work. He is also not particularly slimy or over the top with his love interest. He in many ways is just extremely sweet.

In a few ways this film was lovely, if for no other reason that the ending is nice despite the film being mostly about shit. Watch it. You most probably will not regret it.





:::'Kenny' Trailer::::

' When Your Strange' Dir: Tom DiCillo 2009

Documentary on this new upcoming band that seemed to have ripped of ' Spinal Tap' in many ways.

If you've never heard of The Doors then your a twat. An uncultured retard. Your most probably death, you can not even use living in Siberia or being in jail for the last 50 years as an excuse as there are radios and there is the Internet and magazines and newspapers and people talk. Actually if you were just born say in a few days ago then you have a decent excuse ( but well done for being able to read though!). This is a documentary about the band The Doors. That's a lie actually it is a documentary about Jim Morrison. Not James Morrison that prick who shares his name but sings crappy songs. I say it is about Morrison as it is, in many ways he was The Doors. The documentary is narrated rather well by every ones favourite man Johnny Depp. His voice is divine i tell ya'. Gifted fellow, he can act and talk. Impressive. Anyway it begins with Morrison's death then starts with his birth then how he met the band mates then how the started performing la de da da you can guess the rest. There is alot of acid alot of drinking and alot of songs. Not bad. If you like The Doors, if you dont then I am surprised your watching it to be honest.


I have never ever been one to worship rock stars, to consider them to be super human or people to aspire to be. I have a firm belief that anyone can take drugs at rather aloof, hyper and do outrageous things but still pause and say almost insightful stuff like " What is sound, it is all just vibrations, lets vibrate." See I just made that up but if one of these guys said it I am sure some twat would get it tattooed on their back or something. I am not saying it is a bad thing, I just think that if we start to put people on a pedestal we start to care too much about stuff that isn't really that amazing. I like no LOVE The Doors but I came away feeling that is exactly what happened to Morrison. Rather tragically, people started thinking that he was almost a god. Worshiping his every word and movement to the point where he shows his penis to a large crowd. Naturally it does not go down well , to be fair I would not be too happy about seeing it either.  On a brighter note this film is sure to re light the fire (nice) that is The Doors and maybe bring them to newer generations. Naturally the producers and record company are not retards and are releasing a C.D to go with the film, clever fuckers. It has songs by the band on it though just covers.


I say watch it, either way you come out winning I mean if you like The Doors then you will enjoy it and probably learn some stuff. If you dont then actually yeah dont bother. If you do not really know them but have heard of them then watch it, it shall educate you. If you dont care then at least you will have seen some moving colours and heard some loud noises, also Johnny Depp's voice is ace !

::::When Your Strange Trailer::::

'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World' Dir: Edgar Wright 2010

Yeah it is him again, Micheal BLOODY Cera. He is everywhere at the moment like talk of global warming or stuff that might possibly give you cancer.


I will just point out first of all that before I went to this film I honestly did not know what to expect. I looked it up and saw that Mr. Cera was in it and I thought that I knew enough. In a way I sort of did. The plot was rather simple, Cera's character ( obviously called Scot Pilgrim) is 22 and shares a one bedroom flat, actually bed sit but that doesnt matter, with his friend Wallace ( who is a gay) played by Kieran Culkin. He has a 17 year old girl friend and is in a bad. He doesn't work and as he is played by Cera he is bit of a looser. Not that Cera is clearly as he is a Hollywood actor but he is extremely type cast at the moment. At a house party he see's a rather alternative looking girl who is off interest to him. I say alternative looking as she has coloured hair.  She  is called Ramona ( Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and he pursues her. Naturally he gets her but things get complicated ( and rather surreal) when her ex's start popping up out of nowhere and Cera (Scott, ofcourse) has to do battle with them. There are a few of them. These battles basically drive the plot. The end.  I have left out some of the characters, there is a very large and impressive cast in the film including Jason Schwartzman.

The awesome and slightly unusual thing about this film is the visual effects. They are used in a comic/ computer book way. This being that the film was originally a comic book by  Bryan Lee O'Malley (called 'Scott Pilgrim' funnily enough)  But I enjoyed the cross over way in which they are used for example so as to illustrate sounds or to give you a characters full name, age and a little fact. Which is nice. Quirky. Not massively original but fun. It does bring its own laughs on several occasions. And also adds to the fight scenes if not entirely makes them. They did add much needed surreal air to what could easily sink in to a rather hum drum done before teenage romcom crappy Cera film.


I didnt realise till I was there that this film was directed by Edgar Wright of 'Spaced', 'Shuan of the Dead' and ' Hot Fuzz' fame. I have been a fan since 'Spaced' which was surprisingly released back in 2001, almost ten years ago. Once I had seen his name in the titles before the film I could not help but draw similarities and themes from his work to this new helping. That off comic books, retro computer games, music, the rather fast reaction shots between characters and also the rather off beat out of place comedy weather it be at things that are not really funny like a miserable pun of mocking a montage of Cera getting dressed or simply something funny happening behind the action that is kind of distributing yet funny.


I really enjoyed this film and I am trying to not read it to it too much but in a way I really want to make sense of the who battling the ex's thing. At first I was going with the theory that it was a metaphor for Cera's character having to battle the memories still stuck in Ramona's mind of her ex's. Then I just realized that I was being a twat and simply laughed at it. There was a point though when the whole fighting malarkey did get slightly tedious, I wasn't really all that interested in them towards the end. I could have maybe have done with less but then again some people like fight scenes, personally I'd rather watch UFC than watch Cera jumping around on ropes or even worse a CGI version of him. All in all though this was a decent film, I did laugh a lot. The whole cinema did, some people too much actually, it was annoying. But yeah I wont say "don't miss it" as you wont die if you don't, but if you have a chance you may as well.



:::: SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD TRAILER::::

' Grown Ups' Dir: Dennis Dugan 2010

Adam Sandler and that fat guy from 'King of Queens' and Chris Rock in a film together. And it is called 'Grown Ups' I bet they did this for the art of cinema it had nothing absolutly nothing to do with money what so ever.


I would love to indulge in explaining the plot of this film in a long winded and interesting way but I would be doing you and the film a dis service. Basically the male leads take their children to a summer house by a lake for a long weekend. That's it, there is a slightly side story about their old basketball coach dying from when they were younger but its not really relevant most of the way through the film.


Annnnnnnnnnnnd to summarizes fuck this, its crap. There is nothing to it. I have more fun reading the Argos catalogue That fatty Kevin James is a terrible actor as are most of the cast actually. I dont really see what the point of the film was or who it was being aimed at, families ? parents ? god knows.  I really wish that i did n't bother watch it. I blame the trailer, from the trailer you expect a fun filled Adam Sandler romp of a film and all you get is a happy clappy all American bollocks love in about family values and crap. urrggghhh. 

::: Grown Ups Trailer:::

' Icarus' Dir: Dolph Lundgren 2010

Dolph Lundgren of 'Rockey IV' and 'Universal Soldier' fame just wasted 88 minutes of my life, it went rather slowly. Never let this happen to your self.

 Technically speaking I suppose he is an 'actor' and he claims to have 'directed' this film. That is utter shit if you ask me. Dolph plays some kind of hitman who as a cover sells investment properties, which is rather stupid in the first place to be honest. Someone see's through this crazily interact cover and sends hell of alot of Russian sounding hit men after him. That is as much of a plot as there is. There is nothing else honest. There is no jepadody, there is no drama at all. There is alot of blood though. And also alot of people getting shot and Dolph ( i love his name) just not getting shot at all and walking around like a fucked up none aging third rich uber soldier experiment gone mental around L.A. basically it is horrible. Fucking horrible. I was annoyed with my self for actually not turning it off after the first half an hour. I stupidly kept watching thinking stupidly that it might get better or his annoying daughter (who seem's to stupidly question why they are driving someone else's car rather than why poeple are runnning after them one occasion) would just die.

Don't bother watching this film, go for a walk. Or eat load of laxatives and sit on the loo for a few hours, i am sure you will slightly more productive at the end of it trust me.

:::'Icarus' Trailer::::

'Agora' Dir: Alejandro Amenábar 2009

The latest film from one the best 'up coming' or 'new (ish)' director around.
Amenabar was responsible for scary the hell out me with 'The Others' and also creating both the Hollywood remake and the Spanish original of 'Valina Sky'. He also won an Oscar for the 2005 'The Sea Inside'. Which begs the question why was there not a larger and more general release for this film?

'Agora' is set in Egypt, or the city of Alexandria more accurately, in 391 AD. The date being extremely relevant as it was at roughly 320 AD when Constantine became the first Roman who openly was a christian. Alexandria at this time is split between the Christians who are the Natives and the lower classes and then there are the Roman inhabitants who are still woshiping the old Pagan gods.

 Rachel Weisz plays a philosopher/teacher type lady. She is obsessed with trying to understand the orbits of the planets (or the travelers as she calls them) and understanding the suns orbit of the world or visa versa as she later realizes. She teaches a small group of boys along with her slave boy called Davus ( played rather well by Mark Minghella, nepotism is great is nt it !) I did not mention the religious factors in the city for no reason, they eventually spill over. The upper classes get annoyed at the Christians standing around and shouting in the Agora of the city and eventually gather as a large group and attack them. They are out numbered by the massive amount of Christians and have to take refuge in the center of the city shutting the city gates. At this point after a while of being held siege the Prefect from Rome get's involved and a decree is issued from Rome saying that the Christians must be allowed in to the City with immediate effect. It is a turning point in the film, and is the catalyst of what happens for the next hour of an a half.

I really enjoyed this film, for several reasons. First of all the Mis-en-scene was amazing. The budget for this film must have been gigantic ( which begs the the question of why it didn't get a larger release). Everything is amazingly detailed down to the art in the background, the statues, the architecture and the outfits. Secondly the brutality is rather shocking. It is used in a way that is more to shock the audience rather than simply there because it can be used, it is also extremely realistic and not nearly over the top which makes a change. Thirdly ( and this is a very small point but one I really enjoyed) was that in between some scene's the camera zoomed in all the way from space, which allowed you to take in the geography of Alexandria but also it highlighted that this is the world that we know and recognized but at a very very different time, which links in heavily with my fourth point. Which is the religious aspect of this film. The very large change in religious power was gigantic at this time. Possibly the largest that the world has seen, except maybe the spread of Islam. The arguements that occur between the pagans and then the Jews are ones that could and do happen in modern cities between faiths. Fifthly I enjoyed the theme of the way that Weisz's character ( 'Hypatia') is treated and her stance of being more concerned with Science and philosophy as a way of being close to god rather than simply worshiping and destroying all other things, is a rather modern and admirable view.

I enjoyed this film, it's is not one for people who are looking for historical fact, clearly. But it will make you think , if only a little. Weisz is amazing as ever, I do not think that i have seen her in anything bad. I also do want to watch another Amenabar film simply as I feel that it has been way too long. I will probably write about the 'See Inside' in while actually.



:::: 'AGORA' TRAILER::::

' Whip it' Dir: Drew Barrymore 2009

Look it's that annoying girl from 'Juno' who talk's like a 50 year old but is actually a teenager. Yeah she looks like a doll but you'd blatantly do her. Come on you would.


Dispite the fact she can hardly act and hasnt been in a good film since E.T and looks a little like she might have Downsyndrome Drew Barrymore has directed a film.  It was okay. Ellen Page plays a girl who works in a bugger or meat or i duno fast food type place. Her mother forces her to go to beauty pagents and she doesnt like it. She is 17 and naturally begins to rebel. The rebelion starts at the beinging of the film when she comes out for a beauty thing with blue hair. It escalates to her buying some large doc. martin type boot which is when she a leaflet for the roller derby type crap. There she gets accepted in to a friendship group with a load of hot ladies who ' love her for who she is'. She finds a boy who plays in a band and has long hair. Who also likes her ' for who she is'. 


This is basically a coming of age film. Ellen Page is nice, easy on the eye. But there is nt that much to it really.. its eye bubble gum it killed a rainy afternoon and beat watching sky sports news. But I honestly would not watch it again. Predictable is a word I would use actually, i like that word. The sound track is alright to be honest. A few Ramones songs and more teenage angst crap and such like. This is an in offensive film that wont change your life, unless you fall for Page, in which case join the cue. If you care what i think ( i hope you do otherwise your really wasting your time reading this) then i say watch this.. but expect anything, that's what I did and i was relived to come away empty handed. 

WHIP IT TRAILER

'Paper Man' Dir: Kieran Mulroney 2009

Yet another random indie film from the U.S that I chose to watch as I had failed to hear of it over here in rainy boring gray shitty London. Naturally I thought that it would therefore be shit and not worth watching. I was wrong

The plot focuses around Jeff Daniels' character who plays an author called Richard. He wrote a book once and wants to do the same and so have gone out to Montack ( only reason I highlight the name as it's where that slut from Titanic tells Jim Carey to meet him in Eternal Shine). Daniels' wife drops him off and is played by the tall annoying and unattractive but slightly quirky one woman from friends. Daniels is basically a 12 year old in a 40 year old's body. He has an imaginary friend called Captain Excellent played by the impossible to not hate but overly toothy Ryan Reynolds. Daniels eventually gets bored and cycles in to town on his kids bike and meets Emma Stones character and attempts to befriend her. At first it is creepy their 'friendship' as you think he is attempting to get in her teenage knickers but eventually you realize (or i did at least) that he is just lonely and wants a friend and then all sorts of crazy high jinx occur.

All in all this is a really sweet indie film. In offensive, untaxing if anything it is a little slow and lacks actual drama. But at it's center is really rather sweet and extremely sentimental. Emma Stone is amazing in it. Her character is supposed to be all fucked up and emo but she still comes across as pretty lovely. I didn't want it to end as it was kind of like a little comfort blanket. Mainly as I probably felt pathos for Daniels' character, he reminded me of a child not really knowing what to do with his life and or with Stones's character.  The younger Culkin brother is also in this film actually.. but he is shit so I was just going to not mention him but i did. Bugger.

::::Paper man Trailer ::::

' City Island' Dir: Raymond De Felitta 2009

This film stared that guy you know who always plays an Italian American or American Italian gangster type but is actually Cuban. Andy Garcia, yeah him.


I have never been a Garcia fan to be honest, not because I dont like him just because Ive always thought he was basically a poor mans Pacino. This film chanced that, I like him now. I recon he is rather cool, and a good actor all due to this film. He plays a prison guard who finds his son in jail and takes him home but doesn't tell his family, he also tells his wife that he is playing poker but in fact he is going for acting classes. He has a son who is obsessed (fuck knows why) with fat lady porn. A daughter who dropped out of college and now works as a stripper. And a wife who secretly smokes and tries it on with the son from prison. Basically the narrative focuses around all the families secrets and how the eventually come to the surface.


You may after reading that think that this is a serious dramatic type of film , but you would be wrong your a retard.. watch the trailer honestly it's not. I thought it was a kind of offbeat drama with massive comedic elements (hahaha!) It's hard to describe easily. It is amazing though probably the best film that I have watched this week. There is a scene where Garcia goes for an audition and he is amazing. Worth a watch indeed.


:::City Island Trailer::::

' Worlds Greatest Dad' Dir: Bobcat Goldthwait 2009

 Riiiiiiight Robin Williams aint been in anything since like 'Night at the Museum' has he? Well this is what I thought till I stumbled upon this film.

Williams plays a high school English teacher. He wants to be a poet or a author but is not all that good at it so he teaches high school English. He has a son who is 16 and is obsessed with porn. In the first scene of the film his son is caught having an asthixy wank (if you dont know what that is its basically when you strangle your self with some rope [ any form of ropey or stringy item maybe used] and you masturbate apparently the idea is to cut of the blood to your penis.) Any whooo.... Williams has a 'thing' going with one of the people he works with and is attempting to go out with her it is basically his only real glimmer of sunshine in his life which is otherwise rather bleak and morbid. That brings me to the main focus of the film which is his son. His son is a cunt. Just a massive cunt but not just a cunt as a massive pervert too. He just talks about pussy alot of the time. So when he dies of athixy wanking ( no surprise there) Williams attempts to cover it up... and that's where the story get good.


This film is ace... ace if you can handle the dark dark dark mega fucking dark humor that it contains, if you cant then don't watch it, watch Pengu or something like that. It verges on the uncomfortable on many occasions. On one hand you feel sorry for Williams' character but on the other hand your glad that his son has fucked off as he is a prick. There also other odd characters like their neighbor, his sons mate and most of the pupils at the school where he works. So yeah watch it, just do it.. you might regret it but I promise that you will come away feeling rather grand about your own life, unless your s fucked up perv to. In which case you might feel rather sad.

 ::::Worlds Greatest Dad Trailer:::::

Ponyo Dir: Hayao Miyazaki 2008

Well I was not feeling great earlier today and I thought  that a studio Glibli film would cheer me up. It did. It worked. Now if anything I am kind of scared of the sea.

Like most Studio Glibli films I doubt I can actually describe what I just witnessed, I am certain that it was extremely well animated though and that is one of my favorite things about them all. I am also certain that the main character in the film was a little boy called Sosuke who lived with his mother (who looked a little like a teenage boy) by the sea. His father is a fisher man or something like that which invoulves being out at sea alot. Where it starts to get slightly sketchy is this thing turns up that the boy calls a star fish but it clearly bloody isnt, its clearly a little girl but without arms or legs. Actually that discription makes it sound rather sinister but honestly it isnt its actually rather sweet. Anyway the girl or 'girl' or THING grows attached to the boy but her father ( who i cant actually describe as I think he is a wizard but he lives underwater) but anyway... he wants her back, but she escapes.. la de da da.  It goes on and on and on.


If you just read the above you may think i didnt like the film. But you would be wrong I did like it. At parts I didnt know what the hell is going on but that's like watching an episode of 'Shooting Stars' whilst on acid, you dont actually know whats going on but it's still nice.. kinda. Anyway its cuddly and its nice and if you like 'Spirited Away' then you will like it I am sure. Dont let my lazy description put you off actually I challenge you to think of a better way off describing it than calling it ; the Japanese version of 'The Little Mirmade'  there.. try.

'Ca$h' Dir: Stephen Milburn Anderson 2010

'Ca$h' 2010


Continuing my en devour to devour what ever recently films the legend Sean Bean has made of late I decided to watch 'Ca$h' much like 'Black Death' I seemed to have missed the release of this film. I soon realised it was because it was a low low budget film. Bean plays a hit man type of gangster scary large guy dressed in a suit type. He is on a mission to recover some money for his brother ( who is identical to him for some odd reason). The money has been stolen by a couple and spent by that couple. And Bean has to recover it by what ever means necessary.  That's basically it to be honest.




The main thing about this film that got me and I still find amusing is that Bean uses his normal Yorkshire accent the whole way through. People comment on it though out the film ( the films set in Chicago). I think it gives it a sort of ruggid, no that sounds gay ummm authentic touch. But on the flip side there are alot of try hard aspects of the film that put me off and almost made me turn of. For example the constant flash backs to the couple spending the money and Beans brother being him also alot of the shots are just a tad other the top and trying to be rather art but failing.

my verdict.. don't bother.. watch the BBC News 24 or something, it's slightly more realistic and the acting awesome.

'Black Death' Dir: Christopher Smith 2010

I decided that I had not seen a film with Sean Bean in it recently. So being active I looked up what he had done of late. This film came up as one of the more recent.  I had never heard of it. Possibly for good reason.

It is set in England when ever the hell the black death was wiping out people all over Europe in there thousands (I'll take a stab in the dark and say 14th century). Bean plays a soldier sent out by a bishop to kill some people in a village who have been raising the dead. He goes about this mission with a gang of nasty bastards who seems to love killing and raping and talking about stuff like that. There is also a monk with them who looks like that odd looking fella Jamie Bell who played Billy Elliot. It turned out not to be him and just someone who looks alot like him. Due to the time when the film is set and the general state of madness and death that is going on at that time people are generally turning to God hell of alot. It was a large theme in the film.

Baaaaasically I could sum this film up in less than one hundred words but I chose to stretch this review slgihtly. If you like blood and gore, annoying talk of things that are not true and just genearl rubbish this is for you. If your looking for a interesting way to kill an hour and a half then do not bother. But then again it wasnt painful, I simply felt neither here or there when the titles started. If anything I was simply glad that I was slightly closer to my next meal time and that I had seen another Sean Bean film.